Marriage. It’s a weighty word that’s tied to a weighty concept. The thought of spending the rest of one’s life with one person is a daunting one. There are so many worrisome thoughts: Is he/she really the one? What if I’m making a mistake? Oh God, I’m not ready for this! Well, None of those currently apply to me.
As some may or may not already know, I proposed to my wonderful now-fiancé, Jasmine, on July 11th, and I’m sure you can guess from the first half of this sentence what exactly her answer was. I’m officially off the market ladies. Please hold back the tears.
I kid, I kid.
To make a generalized statement, though, it seems like people believe that most men fear commitment, or at least fear the prospect of being “tied down” as it were. I share no such compunctions. The simple look of contentment in my father’s eyes in his quiet moments, the eagerness and zest with which he worked to provide for us… Yeah, I knew I wanted to be married and have a family of my own someday pretty early on in my life.
The one thing I’ve found in my self-introspection is the fact that my life is changing. No longer am I able to make indiscriminate decisions on a whim and see where they lead. No longer can I afford to slack off, foster unhealthy eating habits, spend hours upon hours upon hours upon hours playing video games like I used to. And those impulse purchases? Bye bye! All of these sudden changes tend to be overwhelming, especially if it’s what you’ve been used to for a looooong time.
Recently, I had to make my very first decision while taking my fiancé and our future life together into account. Just a slight, albeit potent taste of how tough it can be to put the needs of others before your own. Knowing myself, had I been single, I might have done things a little differently, which, in turn, might have ended up with me sabotaging myself. I’m pretty sure I made the right call. All in all, I embrace the changes. Having Jasmine in my life alone has been a grounding experience, and the fact that we are soon going to be man and wife can only mean more structure and less uncertainty.
Stability becomes your life’s mantra.
All in all, when two people ultimately decide to make this kind of commitment to each other in the eyes of God, and others, I think it’s a wonderful thing. I feel loved, I live to make my queen feel loved at all times.